


I don't wanna mess this thing up

by lightningcanary



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 19:56:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15032078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningcanary/pseuds/lightningcanary
Summary: A series of kisses through the years





	I don't wanna mess this thing up

**Author's Note:**

> Semi important note: in this Patterson and David didn't date

The first time it happens they are drunk.

It happens several years before the Jane Doe case starts, a few years after Tasha joins the FBI.

They are celebrating the end of a big case with the rest of their team at the closest bar to their building.

It starts with a playful peck, barely a brush of their lips, mostly just noses bumping against each other and giggles making it harder. But it soon becomes a deep, although not any less messy, kiss, followed by another one and another one and then they lose count.

It stops when a drunk tech guy accidentally bumps into them in the way to the bathroom, taking them out of it as they laugh watching him stumble. After that, they go back to talking with their friends and drinking.

The next day they shrug it off and blame it on the alcohol. They never talk about it again.

* * *

The second time is shortly after David's death.

She blames herself for what happened to him. She blames herself and she regrets the fight they had the day before he got killed.

The first night she's in shock. She feels empty. She doesn't even know where she is while Tasha leads her into her apartment, to her bed and holds her against her chest until she falls asleep.

The second night she sobs herself to sleep into Tasha's neck as the brunette tries to soothe her, whispering versions of "it's okay", "I'm here" and "I've got you" into her ear, caressing her hands up and down her back and kissing the top of her head.

The third night she cries silently.

By the fifth night, there's no more tears.

But she doesn't kiss her any of those times.

She kisses her in the middle of SIOC when the team is about to leave to take care of a bomb threat.

She takes a hold of her wrist as she's walking away, spins her around and pulls her towards herself, moving her hands to Tasha's hair as their lips crash against each other in a desperate kiss.

Tasha, caught off guard, doesn't have time to react before Patterson breaks the kiss and steps back a bit, eyes closed tightly. She sighs and puts her forehead against Tasha's while Tasha just lets her, unable to do anything but look at her dumbfounded.

"Don't die," she whispers, voice so small that Tasha doubts she would have heard it if she wasn't so close to her. "I just lost my best friend, I can't lose you too," she adds, opening her now pleading eyes.

It takes Tasha a few seconds, but she eventually nods while Patterson lets her go. "Okay."

Patterson looks around as a deep blush creeps up her neck when she realises what she did and where. Luckily, almost no one seems to be paying attention to them.

Since Tasha didn't kiss her back, Patterson can't help but feel embarrassed about it, so she decides not to bring it up. Ever. Act like it didn't happen. It was barely a kiss, anyway. (Okay, it wasn't. It was short, sure, but it definitely meant something.)

Since Patterson doesn't bring it up, Tasha concludes that Patterson didn't mean to kiss her and didn't mean anything by it, she probably even regrets it. So she blames it on the heat of the moment and doesn't say anything about it.

* * *

The next time it happens it's because of a very good reason, a life or death situation. Tasha definitely doesn't kiss Patterson because she has been wanting to do it again for more than a year.

They are all out in the field. It's risky because Patterson needs to be at a short range of the guy they are trying to catch to hack his phone.

Tasha notices something is wrong when she sees Patterson's nervous hand twitch after she takes her hands out of her pockets empty while talking to the guy. She can't find the device she needs to do the job. They all took one, though, since they didn't know who would be able to get close enough to activate it.

She walks towards them, with her own device in hand, and when she gets there, she wraps her arms around Patterson's waist and kisses her cheek. "Hey, babe," she says while she stealthily puts the device in Patterson's hand. "Dance with me?" she asks before looking at the man and adding "I hope I'm not interrupting anything..."

He watches them with a hungry smirk that makes Tasha feel sick. "No worries."

They walk a bit away and Tasha puts her arms over Patterson's shoulders and sways while Patterson works with her arms hidden under Tasha's jacket.

"Be careful, he's watching you," Jane tells them through the comms.

"You're not being as subtle as you think," Reade adds. "He's gonna notice."

"Fuck," Tasha mutters. "Okay..." She locks eyes with Patterson for a moment before leaning in. "Just go with it," she says before closing the gap, bringing Patterson's face towards hers with a hand on her cheek.

Patterson gasps right before their lips meet, hands coming to a halt as she takes in what's happening. Tasha is kissing her. And for a moment she forgets where they are, what they are doing and why the kiss even started, they both do, when Patterson kisses her back, parting her lips and letting Tasha deepen the kiss.

They get lost in it until they hear Kurt's voice in their ears. "Right. That's working."

Patterson gets back into action while still kissing Tasha and if she's slower than she normally would be it's definitely not because she's distracted.

They part, breathing heavily, when Patterson squeezes Tasha's arm. The brunette's eyes are closed when she asks "are you done?"

Patterson nods, biting her lip. "Yeah."

Tasha opens her eyes, holds Patterson's hand and leads her out of the room, away from danger and into the safety of the FBI van waiting outside. The rest of the team follows them shortly after.

If their make out session is ever mentioned again it's only by Reade or Jane, to tease their friends.

* * *

When, after waking up in a cell next to Reade, Patterson gets shoved into it too and Tasha sees her for the first time after about a year and a half she wants to kiss her.

But she doesn't.

She doesn't for multiple reason. First, because it's been a year and a half since they last saw each other, and that's mainly her fault so she can only expect Patterson to be mad at her. Second, because of the reason she never kissed her before she left New York and the reason why she never mentioned the few kisses they shared that she still thinks about now and then. Patterson is her best friend and she's terrified she'll lose her if she takes the shot. And third, because she has been lying to her for half a year, since Keaton assigned her to project dragonfly.

The next couple of months are a mess. Getting back to the old team with the addition of Rich Dotcom of all people, Stuart getting killed, Hirst being the one that's been tampering with data, Crawford, the new tattoos. And every single day, Tasha just wants to kiss Patterson. She almost does when the blonde tells her to leave Weller's apartment without her when Hirst is trying to take the whole team down.

But she doesn't. And days go by and it gets worse and worse and Patterson knows something is wrong. She seems to know what it is but she thinks it's Brianna. And, sure, they dated for a while about 5 or 6 years before, but that is long forgotten. She doesn't tell Patterson it's not Brianna, though.

But then there's an explosion in the lab and Patterson almost dies and Tasha has never been so afraid, not even in times when _she_ almost died, and she just can't hold it in any longer.

Sensing her sadness, Patterson motions for Tasha to lay down next to her in the hospital bed.

"You should tell her how you feel," Patterson says in a small voice. Tasha looks at her, a lump forming in her throat. "I'm serious. She's still in love with you, it's obvious. When I was out, I realized we are all repeating the same mistakes. And I saw things."

"Yeah, you said," Tasha starts, laughing as she remembers what Patterson has told her she dreamt. "Weller with the tattoos, Roman naked in the elevator..."

"Okay," Patterson interrupts her, joining in on the laughter. When it subsides, she talks again. "Please, just... Think about it."

Tasha turns around to face Patterson. "Fine," she whispers. "But only because you almost died." The tiny smile that appears in Patterson's lips is all Tasha needs to find the courage to speak again. "Patterson." She waits until she looks at her. "Te quiero."

"What?"

"I'm in love with you. It's you. It's not Brianna," she says, shaking her head. "It's never been Brianna. Gosh, it wasn't even Brianna when we were dating. It's you. It's always been you." A few seconds pass, Patterson is looking at her, mouth agape. "Fuck. Sorry, I shouldn't ha--" She's interrupted by Patterson leaning in and kissing her. It's short, though, because as fast as it starts, it stops, when Patterson hisses in pain at the sudden movement. "Shit, are... are you okay?"

Her eyes are closed and she's holding her side but Patterson nods slowly. "Yeah. I'm... Yeah." It takes her a while but she opens her eyes again. "I'm alright," she smiles when she sees Tasha's worried expression.

Tasha sighs relieved. After some moments of silence, she speaks. "So... You kissed me..." she says, biting her lip.

Patterson, pursing her lips, nods again. "That I did."

"Does that mean--"

"Yeah," Patterson says before she can even finish the question.

Tasha feels her lips curl up. "Can I kiss you?"

"Please," Patterson answers, grinning when Tasha leans in to kiss her.

She kisses her every day for the next weeks.

She kisses her that morning before the truth comes out and she feels her world crumble. It's only a peck and she thinks about it daily afterwards. She wishes she had listened to Patterson's grumbles when she told her to stay a little longer. She wishes she had never left that bed that morning.

* * *

She thinks about their last kiss a lot. Tasha is convinced that's the last kiss she's gonna share with the blonde.

She's not even sure she's gonna see Patterson again, but just thinking about that possibility makes it harder to breathe so she avoids the thought at all cost. When she does think about it, though, she tries to convince herself that one day they'll meet again and Patterson will forgive her and they'll be happy. She knows it's very unlikely but she needs to believe it.

What she definitely doesn't imagine is that they'll meet way earlier than she expects. It's only a few months after she left New York with Blake. And what she would have never imagined is that the first time she sees her again it's at the end of the barrel of her gun. And that before seeing her she would see Patterson's gun.

They both freeze, guns pointed at each other, eyes locked in an intense stare. Tasha's hold on her gun falters. Patterson's eyes twitch. And suddenly, they have both dropped their guns and their lips have crashed against each other as their arms wrap in a desperate embrace.

In between frantic kisses, Tasha lifts Patterson up and puts the blonde's legs around her waist. She sits her in the first surface she finds, lips always locked.

Eventually, they have to separate, breathing heavily at a close distance still, afraid if they let go, they'll find out it's not real.

Tasha wants to say something, tell her she's sorry, tell her she loves her, tell her she can't live without her. But before she can, Patterson speaks. "I love you too."


End file.
